A friend wrote that I needed to let go of my sadness over my son's death. I guess I didn't do well explaining that what I'm sharing on my blog is my joy in the discovery that through the difficult times of life comes the miracle of learning to be compassionate and to want to help others on their way. I shared the story of my son's illness to help people understand what mental illness is like from the point of view of the one who suffers. I am working hard to help all those who suffer from the effects of mental illnesses, a disease that effects so many more than just the person who actually has a mental illness. Those who love the sufferer also suffer deeply the effects of mental illness. Please read The Demons on his Shoulder knowing that I have, because how I suffered through my son's short life with Bi-Polar Disorder, become passionate for helping others. I've found Peace in knowing that my son no longer suffers. Although we miss him more than words can express, his family no longer suffers daily with his illness. In his name I'm working with NAMI to help those effected by mental illness through advocacy, education, support and research. Without having been through the all so difficult parts of his life I wouldn't be where I am today. And that, to me, is the Miracle of the Wounder Healer.
http://www.nami.org/Hometemplate.cfm
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Mark, I don't know if we can ever give up grieving for the ones we have loved and who are no longer of this world. It's natural, it's human, and there is not, in my opinion, a finite point at which we "should" stop being sad. Just like we don't stop being joyful about the good bits.
ReplyDeleteThe sense of loss that comes with an event like the loss of your son is more of a transformation than an event to be "gotten over." There is no way to go back and be the person you were before your loss happened. That you are able to move forward in life and help others make sense of their loss makes wonderful use of the lessons that Tony gave to you.
ReplyDeleteLike you, I have found comfort in knowing and understanding those who have walked down a similar path in life. May we take the lessons learned from the struggles of our loved ones and become better people for having known them, not people who simply forgot the lessons to be learned.